We Can't Tell The Truth - We Just Can't!

We live in a cynical nation and we all contribute to the cynicism because everyone lies and everyone else knows it. But people cant help it. Have you ever actively tried to get through the day without lying? It is practically impossible. Its almost like trying to get through the day without buying something made in China. I dont know if we are just preconditioned to lie or is it just so dam much fun that we cant help ourselves. Parents lie to kids, kids to their parents. You lie to your boss, he/she lies to you its a time honored way of coexisting. I have found myself lying to people in hopes that they would just stop talking to me, but everyone does that "Oh - I gotta go, myyy baby just woke up" But then you find yourself perpetuating this lie and carrying it on for years.


Im trying to get my wife to go in on a lie with me right now, but shes not buying. The lie is that we have just adopted a Chinese girl, and named her Liz Lee Lou. And we can keep it going for years. The kid will always be at the baby sitters or boarding school or her grandmothers, away at collage. This could be one of the great lies of all time. But Anne (my wife) is all about "keeping it real" Whatever!


The number one technology that has helped us to perpetuate the lie is the cell phone. The personal computer contributes considerably, but the cell phone is the A-number one tool of the liar. It gives one the opportunity to shift place, and time. Distractions can be indicated by simply moving or shaking the phone, or even by turning your head away and saying "what" every third word. So what is going to happen when there is 100 larity, and no dropouts anywhere the old "Im losing the signal hello hello" bullshit will no longer suffice


Many of us try to say that lie was just a joke or that we were just "kidding" BULLSHIT! Lies happen because we either want something to start "Yeah I loved The English Patient" or because we are trying to end something. " No its not you its me" Yeah its me hating that YOU are the way you are and you suck and lousy in bed. But whos going to say that?


Recently, I had a discussion about the difference between a lie and a joke with a group of 7 and 8 year olds. We were sitting making paper fish, or something. And one of them said something to another, which I thought could be hurtful. When confronted with this, the child responded by saying that she was just joking. So I asked them what is the difference between a lie and a joke? And they were very clear in their understanding. To them it all came down to intent. If youre trying to make someone feel bad, or like you or trying to get him or her to do something for you by telling a story that is a lie. If you want to keep them off balance for a little while and then tell them the truth thats a joke or "kidding" I think Im going to have to agree with the kids on this one.


You got your professional liars. That would be your politicians, your clergy, booking agents, and prostitutes. That's what they do. You're never going to make it in any of those games with out mastering the art of "the lie" or as their friends in the medias generously refer to it as "spin". Then there are the Simi-pros They're just trying to make it to the end of the day. This category would consist of teachers, parents, office administrators, and such, This is followed by "The perpetual", "The psychopath" and the most dangerous "The situational liar" These are the people that find themselves in a situation that is so beyond their every day existence that they have to create a lie that is so big that it usually barrels out of control. Those kind of people are the ones who get on TV crying and wearing a sweat shirt with a picture of a little girl with thier family and friends gathered around them. Someone in the background is holding a teddy bear, and some local guy has written a song.


"We're gonna miss her so, she got snatched from the back, they broke in the house, 2 guys I think they were black"


Cause face it usually a black guy in the story wearing Nikes or something. In these situational lies the only real winners are people who have talk shows, because weeks go by, and then slowly it starts to unravel. The local sheriff changes his tone from "We have a description from the mother and we are following up on our other leads. Translation: We are busting down all the doors in the projects"

And later to "The attorney of the mother refuses further comment. Translation: We know this bitch did it. The next thing you know were talking bi-polar, postpartum depression, or some other disease that part of the symptoms apparently is to blame a black guy. I can't wait to see whats coming next.

I dont believe anyone anymore. The last "real person" I believed on TV was Tawana Brawly. Do you remember her? About 1980, she said that she had been kidnapped by 6 white men, and the smeared her with shit, said they put her in a hefty bag and left her on some deserted road.

People were up in arms. Bill Cosby, and Al Sharpton, and lesser know black celebrities of the time. but then we all found out that it was all lies. They became suspicious when the artist sketch of her description of the men all looked like the cast of the show Dallas.


We are a cynical nation and we keep on lying to one another. We don't want the truth cause as Jack Nicholson says in that movie. "We can't handle the truth" So lets just keep on lying and keep on acting like we believe the lies, because anything else is just too much work, and we dont want that. that's the American way.